Let the lies begin...

Well i mean let the lies continue -.- I had my assessment last week and ive been referred to Vincent Square Eating Disorder Clinic. I'll get a letter within 3 or 4 weeks to determine what type of treatment i get. Yay? I mean im only going because im over 16 by 10 days. If the assessment had just been 2 weeks ago i would be at the same clinic i was at before, i wish i was. I hate new places! Im going as an outpatient this time so it will be a lot easier to lie about how treatment is going.. im not quite sure whether im going to actually give recovery a go this time or just lie my way out of it. God i hate making decisions, the psychiatrist did say i was a 'fence sitter'. I get overwhelmed but decision making and find it very difficult to make my mind up as i try to please everyone. I agree with him -.-

On a brighter side, ive stuck to my meal plan, havent weighed myself though. Ive developed an intense fear of the scales!!! OH NO!!! I do have new thinspo though :) 

her legs are my porn <3333

Will mine ever be like hers? No.

I really wish i could get rid of those dancer muscles. I mean, i like having toned legs but they are officially huge. I will never have teeny tiny legs like that BEAUTIFUL SKINNY BITCH up there. I hate her. 

-No more chocolate for me.

-No sugar.

-Jog or walk every day.

-Dance more, do more pointe work.

-STOP EATING!

I know she doesnt eat, i can just tell. I bet she lives off water and air :) i wish i had her strength.

Peace out homies, ima go cry now. Then jog for an hour.

muchos love me amigos <3